Short Term vs. Long Term Goals...

So when we last left our she-ra, there was contemplation about the 10K that has already been registered for on Monday.  Should I run or should I stay home?  Please be sure to sing that like the Clash would.  And I wanted to make that decision during today's training run...and let's just say that it's been made.

After a VERY introspective run that quickly turned into a walk, I have decided that I need some more miles under my feet before I will feel comfortable doing a 10K in public.  Do I think I *could* run it?  Abso-flipping-lutely.  But as I pondered listening to great tunes, I realized that there are more cons than pros to running it.

In a fairy tale scenario, I would run it in a 6 mph pace and cross the finish line looking fresh faced and breathing lightly.  But in what I'm pretty sure would happen, I would be a hot, sweaty red-faced panting mess if my last few runs are any indication of my performance in a 10K.  And you know what?  I'm PROUD of my decision.

I am typically a very optimistic person, but I had to look at all possibilities, and what helped most was when I looked at my long term goals vs. short term goals.  And what would make ME proud?  What if I had run out of steam at the halfway point and walked the remainder, coming in dead last?  Would not be a proud moment.  What if I ran the whole thing but with a really crappy time?  Another un-proud thought.  Finally, I went to the dark (but realistic) side - what if I actually injured myself during the run, which would put most fitness activities on hold for awhile?  Bam - that was it.  I was not trying to talk myself out of it, but this whole time I've been trying to talk myself into it, for all the wrong reasons.

I wanted to casually throw it out there in a conversation.  Friend:  What did you do over  Labor Day weekend?  Me:  Oh (with a flip of the hair), I ran a 10K on Monday morning.  Friend:  Wow - that's impressive.  And I thought, WOW, that is really taking caring what people think of you to the next level. 

I'm 40+ and that sometimes means saying what I want to say and doing what I want to do.  If I don't want to do something, I just say no thank you - no excuses because none should be needed unless it is truly something I *should* do - and then I just do it, no excuses.  Life is just too short to do things we don't want to do!  As I babble along, I keep thinking that this post sounded so much better and made more sense when I was writing it out in my head on the treadmill.

So...bottom line.  I have been on a fitness ROLL for two weeks straight.  I've even lost a couple of pounds.  And if I have an embarrassing time or don't finish or worse yet, get injured, I'm afraid that's gonna set me back.  And I need to look at my long term goal...living a happy, healthy life.  There will be plenty more 10Ks to choose from.  But until I can run where my legs don't feel like cement bags the entire time, it's just not for me.  I hope it is for me soon, and I will continue to throw some runs into my training here and there.  I will probably even find a 10K to truly train for.

Like I said yesterday, if they ever have an event of walking on the treadmill at a 4 mph pace with an incline of 6, sign me up.  Until then, I'll still go get my t-shirt tomorrow, though I won't wear it in public.  But I will wear it when I run sometimes, to remind myself of long term vs. short term goals.
So that's that.  Now this hot, sweaty mess needs a shower before getting together with some girlfriends later today.  And THAT is something I WANT to do :)