So...Is It for Me Or Am I Trying to Prove Something?

I have to giggle to a certain extent because this blog was supposed to be all about food - no getting personal or anything.  But I found that my life is NOT all about food - so neither should this blog be.  Yes, I TOTALLY enjoy cooking, especially learning new things, but I am so much more complex than that.  I love to read, play tennis, listen to music, watch reality TV (both "good and bad), spend time with my family, be with girlfriends, and walk.  And I'm *trying* to learn to love running...but so far, it's just not really happening.

I do love the challenge - the fact that I am dripping sweat after my workout.  The fact that my legs burn and I feel some new toning in my muscles.  I think I like to SAY I love to run...but I don't.  So I'm starting to get more and more nervous about this 10K on Monday.  I am not a complete novice.  I have done 3 half marathons before, although they were a few years ago.  I have run about half a dozen 5K and about as many 10K.  But none of these were within the last year or two, and I really only started training about two weeks ago.

Can I run 6.2 miles?  Yes.  Well...let me rephrase that.  I think so.  To this point, my longest run has been 5 and if you read that post, I was completely nauseous after the run because of not enough to eat during the day.  What if I get to the halfway marker and can't make it?  On the treadmill I can easily track my pace and slow down/speed up as needed.  It doesn't simulate the hills, even though this course seems relatively flat.  I have a set timeframe and/or mileage and if I want to alter it, I can.  In a 10K, I don't have that option.  Well - I can alter the time, but my pride wants a decent time.

I guess what I'm trying to say, and it helps to think out loud here, is that I sometimes wonder if I am running for myself or if I want to prove something to others.  And then I ask myself, what do I want to prove?  I am proud of myself for really getting back on the fitness track, and a lot has to do with the visit with my sister and my niece.  I enjoyed the walks we took so much...and then Sarah introduced me to My Fitness Pal.  And before you know it, I was wanting to do more than walk...I wanted to run.  And then I wanted a goal.  And now it is only 4 days away.

I know I am undertrained, but not to the extent to where I would hurt myself - more that I would embarrass myself with a terrible time and/or finish.  So I ask myself again...is this for me?  I'm still on the fence, and honestly, tomorrow will be the deciding factor.  I will be running 6 miles, and then taking Saturday and Sunday off as rest days so that I have fresh legs for Monday.  If I have a good run, I'm ready for Monday.  If it is one where I struggle, I am just going to have to re-think it and shoot for the next one. 

The reason this was so relative to post was because when I first started this blog, I kept on wondering who was reading it and why was no one commenting.  And all of a sudden, it dawned on me.  None of that mattered - I was doing this because I WANTED to.

So there.  I want to do the run if I WANT to...not because I feel I have to.  So let's see what the final decision is.  I will say that I will continue my running b/c I know I am building strength and muscle and perhaps some lbs will go bye bye.  And to a certain extent I really do enjoy it.  I would be hellacious in a contest where we all walked on treadmills at a 4 mph pace and an incline of 6.  I could walk ALL day and then some.  Just not sure if I can run 6.2 miles.  I think I can...and will keep you posted of my decision.

Food stuff lacking b/c last night was trivia (man did we suck!) and tonight was leftovers as the parts for the fridge just came in today, so it won't be fixed until tomorrow or Monday.  Sigh.  Can't wait to do my first shopping trip once the fridge is operating again!  Looking forward to some fruits and veggies and all kinds of yummies!

Leftovers Last Night...and My Fitness Pal, My New Best Friend

Just to at least get a picture on here to make it pretty, here was my plate of leftovers from last night. 

Notice the HEAPING pile of green beans, the fist sized chicken parm, a small portion of noodles (still trying to find the refrigerated kind in multigrain) and one piece of bread.  This all leads me to my "step it up" goal, motivated by my sister and niece when they were here.

All in all, I have always been pretty good about eating healthy, exercising and drinking water.  But once I turned 40, it feels like you have to really work at it and thankfully, this past weekend, I got just the extra inspiration and tool that I needed.

My niece introduced me to an app on my phone called My Fitness Pal.  You basically enter your starting weight (don't worry - no one sees it!) and your goal weight.  It calculates the calories you should consume each day.  You can add in food and water, and it is even smart enough to be able to scan a barcode on packaged food.  You also log any exercise you do, so obviously, those exercise minutes give you a greater allowance of food options.

It is the simplest thing I have ever used to track, and one of the bonuses of it is that you can have "fitness buddies."  So for example, if I see that my niece worked out for an hour, I can comment something like "way to go".  Because I am really focused now, I would like to invite anyone who is interested to download the app on your smartphone (it's free) and send me a friend request.  My user name is mariccarroll and this will be a fun way to have new virtual workout buddies who have common goals.  This will help me be more accountable and I'm excited about the prospect!!!

Don't be shy - if you are working on your fitness, let's do it together.  The more the merrier, and I can't wait for my first weigh in next Monday when I hope I can actually show a loss.  We are in such a great electronic age where we have access to tools that can improve our lives, so I'm ready to take advantage of it for sure!

Hope to have some new workout friends the next time I post!  And I will truly try to focus on healthy meals - well balanced and tasty!

To all - drink your water, eat healthy, exercise and take your vitamins!  I started taking my vitamins with dinner b/c they would nauseate me so much in the morning - it made a huge difference and I have actually taken them 2 days in a row.  I want to be around as long as I can for my wonderful family!

So thanks again Sue and Sarah for really jump starting me.  We can all do this!!!